No matter how much you might swoon over someone when you first start dating, you have to put in an effort if you want for a relationship to last. Infatuation crumbles when couples are unwilling to take the time to really understand one another. These are the things you must go over if you want to create a lasting relationship.
They say that opposites attract. While individuality among partners is definitely a plus for any relationship, these differences need to be mutually accepted. There also needs to be compatibility in spite of the differences. Some relationships fall apart because the attraction isn’t enough to compensate for the divide. As you’re starting to get close to someone, review any pressing differences and consider whether any would be deal breakers. Be as honest with yourself as possible. Even if you feel an attraction at first, you don’t want to compromise your personal integrity, as that would mean leaving your genuine self at the door. It’s also important to recognize cultural differences. Upbringing influences everyone, and some people need to be with partners who align with their beliefs as closely as possible. Your differences should be embraced, but they shouldn’t cause you to turn your back on staying true to yourself.
When you commit yourself to a relationship, you also commit yourself to adjusting your life on some level. This can complicate things if you have specific plans in mind, especially if they involve a partner. If you want to get married and have children but your partner is unsure about either, you might not be able to make your relationship work. Your partner could also have plans to move to another city or country that wouldn’t mesh well with your work area or personal preferences. Compromises are part of any relationship, but you need to make sure that any ones you make are ones that fall in line with what you actually want.
What you don’t want is just as important as what you do want. All good relationships are built on trust, and that can only happen through communication. You and your partner don’t have to be exactly alike, but you should be able to discuss what makes you uncomfortable, without fear of criticism or mockery. This is especially important in the bedroom, as trust is imperative to the existence of a healthy sexual relationship. You need to know about things like STD history for your partner because finding out your trust has been violated can ruin your relationship. You want to open your heart up for your partner, but you also want to make sure to give yourself as much protection as possible.
Don’t avoid conflict
A healthy relationship doesn’t necessarily mean one free of conflict. You can love your partner while also having strife with them. If anything, a relationship can be made stronger through conflict. There shouldn’t be yelling and throwing things, but there should be tactful discussion of each of your viewpoints that both parties can respect. You don’t have to solve every conflict. Sometimes, they’re just disagreements that don’t matter all that much. What matters is that you can move on and do all you can from letting one tiff turn into a mar onto your whole relationship.
Don’t be a perfectionist
This goes both ways. You shouldn’t be a perfectionist towards yourself, as that’ll just cause stress for you as you try to fulfill some sort of image that you can’t possibly live up to. You also shouldn’t put these expectations on your partner. A relationship doesn’t end on the basis of one partner being imperfect. If your partner has habits or beliefs that are routinely causing conflict in your relationship, you need to bring them up and consider whether or not your relationship has a future. But you should also be able to separate forgivable character flaws from massive moral shortcomings. It also helps to take a look at yourself. Are your partner’s habits ones that you don’t also possess? It’s not uncommon to notice flaws in others while failing to see them ourselves. The more awareness you have of your own shortcomings, the more you can keep your expectations for your partner from getting out of control.
Just because you have to put in work for a relationship doesn’t spoil the magic of your connection. Love doesn’t happen just because two people are attracted to one another. It happens because they strive to learn from one another and grow. When you create a lasting relationship, you create one that’s able to withstand obstacles and let you come out stronger than before.